In the Chinese culture, the Ayis are hired at schools, and all around to be kind of like janitors. And they are hired by families to cook, clean, take care of children, run errands, etc. Many teachers at my school have Ayis to do various jobs for them. Some students at school (Chinese, British, Korean alike) are virtually raised by Ayis. It just seems to be what is done here.
At first, the idea of a housekeeper or maid made me feel very strange. In America, there is often a stigma (or at least, somehow in my mind there is) that having "help" in the house is this hoity-toity rich person kind of thing to do, for people who are totally privileged and spoiled (which, as much as I hate to admit it (and why do I hate to admit that?)- I was pretty privileged and spoiled growing up-because I grew up in the middle class- but we weren't "rich" by any means-we struggled sometimes- especially later), and really, you should (who says- why should?) be able to take care of yourself and clean your own house- because only millionaire socialites and people from movies like "Gone with the Wind" and "The Help" have house keepers. Thoughts of housekeepers bring to mind the book: "Nickled and Dimed" and her experience. Certainly, especially in the last year when I was toughing it through full-time grad school, and there were times I was worried about making rent- affording someone to clean for me was totally out of the question. This paragraph leaves a lot of my own prejudices and ideas about class in America, the "haves" and "have nots", and a lot of judgements that maybe aren't so good, to unpack and grapple with.
But.....when in Rome (or China)........
So, the first week I was here, my housing agent brought around an Ayi for me. She doesn't speak English, but she seemed nice enough. If I was going to have help, I would have liked someone who would cook some meals, but the Ayi the agent brought around didn't cook. Oh well.
It was arranged that she would come for about 4 hours on Wednesday each week. I would pay her every 4 weeks. She would do my laundry, general cleaning, dishes, etc, and could run some errands, do some shopping, and pay my utility bills (this requires going places and talking to people in China- so it can be very helpful to have someone who speaks Chinese do it......I have tried on my own twice to pay my water bill and it was not easy and things got a bit confusing for all involved), collect fapio, and any other general errands. That is pretty awesome. I wasn't exactly sure how it would work.....
As much as it felt weird having a housekeeper of sorts- I do have to say, I was pretty excited.
In case you don't know- I'm not the best at dishes an laundry. It is only in the past year that I managed to get good at doing my dishes in a timely manner and not letting them pile up in the sink. But I still haven't mastered laundry. I will go as far as to say that I hate doing laundry. Because it never ends. And the laundromat? Ugh.
In fact, I have mentioned multiple times that I have actually considered nudist colonies, because it means no laundry. And doing the washing itself isn't that bad- but the hanging and folding......that's the worst. Back in Chicago, I would end up leaving baskets full of folded (or not so folded) clean clothes because I just wouldn't get to fully putting them away.
I have been using her since August, and I have come to really appreciate my Ayi. She is kind of amazing. I bought her chocolates for Christmas to try to show my gratitude (I'm not sure this is culturally normal- though I haven't figured out what culturally normal is. I know I'm supposed to leave her a red envelope full of cash at Chinese New Year...). And I can leave her notes in English, and somehow she gets them translated and does what they say. She has bought me hangers from the store downstairs, she is a pro at doing my laundry (seriously, my laundry is so clean!), and she hangs it to dry- and when I don't hang the dry laundry in my closet- she puts it away for me the next week. She cleans, does dishes, and has taken my dry cleaning, gotten fapio, and paid my bills. She really is a gem.
Sometimes Wednesday is like min-Christmas- because I come home from work- and my house is all clean and things are put away and it is lovely. Tuesday night/Wednesday morning usually involves a light pre-cleaning to prepare for the Ayi- but it seems most of my friends here do that.
What has prompted this post, however, is this.
I got home (back to Beijing) from the states at midnight. I put my bags down, and went straight to bed- since I had to be at work at 8am the next morning. I had ice skating lessons Monday and didn't get home until 7ish- at which point I made a quick dinner, and due to jet lag- promptly fell asleep on my couch at 8pm.
Tuesday I got home late after Chinese lessons and fell asleep immediately after getting home.
Which brings me to the fact that by Wednesday morning when I was leaving for work, neither of my large, extra-stuffed suitcases had been unpacked. I closed them, and but them off to the side of the room- and figured I'd get to them when I got home.
When I got home late Wednesday evening- both of them had been fully unpacked- all my clothes had been folded or hung, my shoes had been unpacked and put away, and the suitcases themselves had been tucked away!
I had totally not expected her to unpack, but it was quite a welcome surprise. I just love how she just does things like that for me. She'll also make my bed when its a mess- she just does what looks like it needs to be done. I love it. I'm so very thankful for that- and to be completely honest.....this could spoil me. Because I don't have to do laundry or hang up/fold clothes. And that is amazing.
Now- to be fair, the first thing I did was open my closet and re-arrange/re-hang some of the things- and this is how great she is- she seems to have noticed my closet arrangement/organization system and tries to follow it! So lovely of her! But sometimes it isn't quite right- and I get a bit......maybe particular is a good word.....about certain things- but it was quite easy to do a little re-arranging after everything was hung up.
In short- I love having an Ayi and she may have ruined me for the "house keepers aren't a thing here" world. Because- point blank- as all young children know- having someone to do your laundry is awesome.
Random thoughts, partly sparred by this, part of what I was discussing with a friend as we rode in the back of a taxi- which is how we get around here:
I think I'm spoiled now. I am a rich person here. That is weird. Why do I feel guilty? How do I give back? Maybe more on this in another post.
I understand perfectly. I spent 7 weeks in Korea back in 1981. Back then it cost the equivalent of $10 a week for a house girl. She came in every morning after I left for work, made my bed, did my laundry, and had my dinner ready when I got off work. At the time the average annual income for a family of 4 in Korea was $966 a year. My house girl worked for four people at the same time so she was making more than double the average by herself.
ReplyDeleteThat's nothing to feel guilty about.
Laurie, here is something you don't know. My mom and dad hired a housekeeper. The one I best remember, we had when I was four, until we had to let her go when I was ten. Her name was Mary. Mary came from the "other side of the tracks," in Hammond, In. She was the sole support of her husband and herself. She came and made sure I got off to school on time, and was there in the house at lunch time, and fixed me lunch and sent me off back to school, so I'd not be late (I walked to and from school). She was there after school, and fixed us snacks. She cleaned any dishes in the kitchen we had missed from dinner and breakfast and lunch dishes. The mopped the kitchen floor, vacuumed, and dusted in all the downstairs rooms. She made the beds, and DID LAUNDRY. She had a schedule, and by the time we got home from school, she was finishing the ironing before my parents returned from work.
ReplyDeleteThis offered my parents the opportunity to come home from work and fix dinner and be with us a bit before they had to grade papers and type up quizzed, on mimiograph paper, make worksheets (by hand, because there were no teacher resources, all had to be done from scratch and their imagination), cut out bulletin board letters, etc. I always felt lucky to help to those teacher-jobs for mom and dad. I felt grown up. When I was 10, Jan was 15 and Gary was 16, and were more than old enough to take care of me until mom and dad could get home from school. Mom and Dad refused to have latch-key kids, and were willing to live on very tight budgets to pay Mary so we'd have someone at home on school days for us. So yeah... we had an "Ayi." Mary used to give me Christmas and Birthday gifts every year. She used to take care of me when I was home sick (and I'd often be sick enough to have to stay home even two weeks at a time). She even had me spend the night at her house once. She taught me to make a little troll doll dress, and colored with me. She was there to talk to, if I needed her to, and to bandage my boo-boos. She'd always relate to my parents what happened with us when they were gone, and kept them in the "know."
I can't say that I loved her....I don't know. But I was well cared-for.
When I was 10, I have to say it was a bit of a shock. I had to start making my own bed, folding my clothing and putting it away myself, and dusting furniture and helping with the dishes. I understand when you say that you feel spoiled. I didn't know I was spoiled in that way (if not in any other ways), until she left.
One final note: Mary died less than a year after we let her go. I think it broke her heart and she felt no longer useful. That was sad.
Wow, that is really interesting!
ReplyDelete